Let’s get real ladies. PMS is real. Chocolate cravings are sometimes an everyday occurrence. My kids are messy, loud, high energy, and ornery. Sometimes I feel “screamy.” I may or may not want to throat punch the lady on Instagram who had her baby last week and already looks back to pre-baby weight and like she is getting better sleep then me. My toddler thinks she is boss. If I disagree with her life assessment she makes sure she sets me straight with full body tantrums, screaming and dog bowl tosses. Every one of my children have asked me for candy today at least twice even after I said no. Mommin’ ain’t easy. Hence the reason I am currently wearing a shirt that declares it.
Here are some ideas for all of us salvage these days and hopefully end on a happy note:
- Turn off Instagram and Facebook or at least unfollow those that make you feel like you are a mom fail. Follow those who you consider “my people.” The Hot Mess Mama’s in your life. Those that don’t have it all together. Those who inspire you while still making you feel normal. Those who show you that even though they are master chefs, their laundry room is overflowing with dirty clothes. People who inspire you to do it better, not because they have it all together but because they are willing to share the journey with you.
- Hug your kids. This one helps me when I feel particularly screamy. Touch is NOT one of my love languages and I have a difficult time being affectionate with my kids. However, there is something about sharing a hug with my children that eases my anger and draws me into a meaningful conversation with them. Plus, as an added bonus, touch releases all sorts of powerful natural love chemicals that make us feel good.
- Track your moods. I made up the word “screamy” for myself. It’s the only word I can think of to describe the feeling I get when I am super frustrated at my kids. I have a period tracker app, which allows me to track my moods too. It certainly makes a difference in planning my days if I know that I “typically” get anxious, screamy, and short-tempered the 4 days before my cycle starts. Now I can warn the hubby, plan to have less school on my schedule, schedule a massage or start a book that will help me relax, etc.
- Change. Such a hard thing. It is so easy to do what we’ve always done. But obviously that just brings about the same results we’ve always gotten. Sometimes this is a good thing. My habit of taking out my vitamins and the kid’s vitamins at the same time every morning means we are healthier. My reaction to my kid’s messy room is not the best and I need to create new response. This means I need to create a new habit. A good habit.
- Eliminate. Schedules for kids and us are getting crazy. Since I’m already crazy and a hot mess, having a packed schedule just leads to more crazy and hotter messes. This equals a tension-filled day in my world. On Tuesdays we have nothing scheduled. Sometimes like today, I get a luxurious hair cut, but in the realm of scheduling there is not one thing gets put on the schedule for the kids or family. We say no to going anywhere. This is my day where school and home are a priority. Where the kitchen is fully cleaned. Toilets are cleaned. Since this is kind of the best day of the week, with no scheduled obligations, I aim to have more of them. I like “no where to go” days and my sanity does too. So “schedule” more sanity also known as margin into your day and week.
- Run. Yes, exercise is good and you should definitely get some. After all, as Elle says on one of my favorite movies, Legally Blonde, “Exercise causes endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t just shoot their husbands, they just don’t.” Or kids. So move more. I too need to get much better at this!
- Find your people. I have a great group of friends. Friends that have brought me coffee on a crappy day. Or Facetimed me to make me smile. They remind me to be grateful for the little things. They sit in court when you are being sued by your supposed aunt and uncles. They make life better. And they should. If you have a friend who makes you feel like you are in a competition with them and your kids are too or a friend whose sarcastic comments belittle you, then find a new friend.
- Take a sick day. Not because you are actually sick, but because if you don’t you are going to lose your mind if you don’t.
I have more “mommin’ ain’t easy” days then not, which I guess at this point we can call normal days. Mommin’ ain’t easy, friends. But the Lord THANKFULLY works ALL things out for the good of those who love Him. I cling to that reminder on those days when I forget to all the things I wrote above and yell a little more harshly at my kids or lose my mind. Above all other advice I have, grace is the most important that I can give. Grace because you won’t get everything right on this side of eternity, grace because it isn’t all up to you, and grace because like your children you are only a human. Hormone driven, sleep deprived, coffee craving human.
Have any additional tips for me or my readers? Please drop a comment below!